Walkthrough:Final Fantasy X/BlueHighwind/Part 11
Well Space Monkies, I BlueHighwind am sad to report that the battle with the Empire of Japan has been lost. In retrospect, we never really stood a chance. It all came down to a massive giant robot duel, and our good old American forces were just unprepared for the onslaught of Japanese robots that descended upon us: Voltron, Gundam Wing 0, RahXephon, the Megazord, Zoids, Gigantor, the Nirvash Getter Robo, Godanner, Big O, and Eva Unit 1. On the walkthrough's side, all we had was Megatron, an AT-AT, Megas XLR, and Paul Bunyan. So I threw out the big guns: the Death Star. And for a time I thought I might actually win the war. But I say those Japs cheated when they threw Space Runaway Ideon at me. How could I compete with a robot that blew up the whole universe? And so I leave in defeat. But do not worry Space Monkies. I shall return. Guadosalam As soon as you enter, some sad butler, shaking in fear of his master greats you. This guy is one of the most pathetic wretches I've ever scene. Clearly he's spent his whole life being constantly reminded of all own lack of value and perhaps even been the victem of some nasty sodemny with a pine cone. He instantly grabs for Yuna, showing just what's been on Seymour's mind for the last few days. After the scene Rikku will teach you all about Customization. Using this system you can add on abilities to your weapons and armor simply by using items you've found on the field. Unfortunately nearly all the items you need for the better abilities can only be gotten through Stealing, so keep up breaking the Eighth Commandment. Steal away! Once that's done, you're now finally free to explore Guadosalam at will. Head down into the first house on your right to find a Save Point and the History Professor, here to tell another tale from the days of yore. Shelinda is also in here, but we don't want to talk to her. She's still just as dull as always, and the only joke I have for her I've already used twice. Leave the house. Run up to the big red door, but don't enter just yet. Instead head to the right to find a Mega-Potion. Head all the way to the Northwest corner and enter the house to find the Al Bhed Primer Vol. XIII. Hey, now we're half-way fluent in Al Bhed! There's also a chest in here for 3,000 Gil. Dump this scene and go down directly South past two Guado to find an Elixir. Go North and around the corner and enter the Shop. Here you'll find both O'aka and the regular Shop for Guadosalam. Buy shit and leave. Now run back down to the big red door. Run up the stairs and at the top you'll find two Hi-Potions. As you run down, you'll uncover that Seymour is actually half-human, half-freak. Once that's done, go around and talk to your war mates. Head to the door and the Guado slave will let you into Seymour's private chambers. And so begins a series of a cutscenes. Nobody seems too trusting of Seymour, even though the man has saved our lives twice now. Well can you really trust a man with such a preposterous haircut? Well everybody seems to dislike Seymour, except Yuna who is so wet right now she just might pop out of her kimono at any moment. Then Seymour finally goes out to greet his guests. He leads us into his holodeck showing just how Zanarkand looked when Tidus was playing Blitzball and scoring floozy cheerleaders. Next trip on our holographic Magic Mystery Tour is chambers of some almost naked chick (who in my humble opinion should be totally naked, as with all Final Fantasy heroines - especially Tifa). In walks her boyfriend, a guy coming from being kicked out of a Halloween Party for having a costume way too stupid. But it seems that ridiculous costumes get Yunalesca off, because she is all over that guy. Seymour uses this time to make an indecent proposal to Yuna, offering 1,000,000 Gil if she'll sleep with him. I wish the game would let me take the offer, because we could really use that money when we recruit the Aeon,'Jimbo. Yuna takes a big swig of water and tells us the news. This naturally creates quite a stir, since Tidus clearly can't top an offer like that. Auron is pretty pissed about it too, though I think he was looking for an opportunity to talk down to Seymour in a badass tone. With all that done, leave the mansion with Yuna's virginity intact for now. But who knows how long it will stay that way? UH-HOOOOO!! With that done head directly South to run into the gang. Tidus is still against the proposal because he wants Yuna all for his own greedy dick. Now run to the Southwest corner of the town and then go up the closest path heading up and East. Go through the doors into the next plot point. The Farplane On your left there will be a hidden cache of Eight Lightning Marbles. Lightning Marbles are used to damage enemies with lightning attacks, and are also used to upgrade weapons and armour. Go forward through the hallway into the next area. Tidus will ask just how we're about to walk into Hell, without being dead. Auron doesn't walk in, thus giving a big huge freakin' sign to anyone who is skilled in the art of forshadowing spotting. Rikku refuses to go to Hell because she seems to believe that this whole Farplane thing is just a scam. The pyreflies simply react to people's memories of the dead and nothing more. This would be excellent reasoning if only she had A. proof, and B. a reason why the pyreflies don't show living people. Enter Hell to see some ultra fancy theatrics and then go around to talk to your party members. Because everything they say is just so damn interesting that I have to talk to them every ten seconds. Lulu's acting is especially bad today. I mean she was never coming home with any Oscars but still, for a Final Fantasy game I expect more quality than this. Finally all the near endless ploting ends and we leave Hell. However one lost soul has decided to join us - Seymour's papa. Yuna sends him and Auron doubles over in pain. If you haven't figured out the big twist by now, then you truly are an idiot. They make it so obvious I can't stand it. The party walks wondering why Jyscal would want to return to life. Perhaps Seymour killed him? Hey I know its crazy, but I'm just throwing it out there. We all know Seymour is a boyscout and would never do anything wrong. Guadosalam (Again) Tidus continues to bitch about Seymour walking in on his girl. Though he does nothing because he's a little pussy. Lulu manages to survive this ordeal of complaining only by making fun of Tidus. He's an idiot so the insult misses him completely. Keep on bugging her and you'll get an open-ended question. I don't know why the game even gives you this option since your answer never does anything. Try to leave town through the back exit and you'll run into Shelinda who will tell you that Seymour has totally stood Yuna up and left for Macalania. Pick up Yuna from daycare and leave this ugly town. Thunder Plains Rikku is scared of thunder, and for once in this walkthrough I have no opinion. She tries to make a weak excuse about having to return to 'Salam, but Auron is all to happy to have that bitch out of his party. Fuckin'A man. Rikku stays and the audience is filled with groans of disgust. The Thunder Plains are special in that every once in a while lightning will strike down and shock your ass. It only takes off a bit of HP but its best to avoid getting hit. As soon as the screen turns white, hit as fast as you can. The game is designed so that you can't just mash the button. Shit. Run forward and open the Chest on your left for two Phoenix Downs. Head forward and Save your game. Now the game has once again returned to the classic fun of walking forward for about an hour. Boy there is no better way to spend an afternoon then walking in a straight line and dodging lightning bolts. Just to the left of that Save Point and a bit up are two Hi-Potions. Keep on going forward and to the left of a wierd blue rock is another Chest. This one holds 5,000 Gil. Up a bit farther is Shelinda, whose barren vagina has gone wet at the prospect of Yuna and Seymour marrying, something that she will never enjoy. Hey nuns ask for it, I have no sympathy. Tidus goes and lies to her, since he's a spiteful jerk who can't stand to see Yuna happy without him. You get another multiple choice question. It still doesn't matter what you say. Exactly right from Shelinda is a little knock in the map. Here lies Wakka's Water Ball, a really really useful weapon against the lightning elemental fiends around here. Run forward a long while and then the game will stop for another scene about our oh-so-ever-facinating cast of characters. Rikku is having an emotional brakedown and is doing her best intepretation of Tidus's HAHAHAHAH scene. Game, I thought we talked about this? No more fake laughing scenes and I won't put a magnet on the disc. As the team begins to walk away in disgust, Rikku continues to whine and whine and whine. You know what was awesome about Selphie? She may have been annoying as all Hell, but you couldn't hear her voice. This is actually making me nostalgic for the days of FFVIII, can you believe that? Auron can't take it anymore and so gives in if just to recover from the splitting headache Rikku's whimpering just gave him. Inside Rin's there are no new items, and thus I don't have to make a new Item Box. High five, Space Monkies! Talk to your party members and be sure not to miss Rin. If you say that your study of Al Bhed has been going "Okay" he'll hand over the Al Bhed Primer Vol. XIV. Rin will then go talk to Auron and discuss how the big badass was badly wounded and that Rin was sure that Auron would die. Well, have you figured out Auron's secret by now? Come on, its not like the game hasn't been giving you hints all page. Tidus goes to spy on Yuna. He then breaks in and I was certain that he was going to rape her back when I first played this game. Hey Tidus is a little whiny bitch, they can do anything. And I mean ANYTHING to get their way. When the scene ends, Save your game and leave the Travel Agency. Category: Final Fantasy X Walkthrough